Bronchitis

image

This is what bronchitis looks like at 7 months. Scary, isn’t it?

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

It’s not wrong; it’s British

I realise that people have widely ranging writing styles, encompassing often colourful prose, so guidelines should generally be taken with a pinch of salt. One issue that arises more often than most is where to put quotation marks. You might say they should always go on the outside of punctuation, but I tell you this: “They go where the quote ends”.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

I like a good romp in the Bible as much as the next heathen…

Science involves thinking with your brain – not your guts. Sometimes scientists act on gut instincts, but those suppositions must be proven by brain power or they’re soon disregarded.

If you’re going to write an article and put it under the category of “science,” don’t try to write about how the Earth is thousands and not millions of years old. Save that topic for theology or “Bible Buddies Suspending Disbelief.”

Sure, think with your guts all you want. Just remember your guts have shit for brains.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Here’s a good one:

Lightning, lightening, and lighting.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Hoity-toity, high-falutin’ verbiage…

We no longer relieve ourselves. We alleviate ourselves.
Did you know? Now you do.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Eat me.

I made a cake. Check out them little marzipan carrots. Bet you can’t guess what kind of cake it is.

See, my friends think they flatter me when they tell me I’m a master baker. What they don’t know is it’s not flattery; it’s fact.

(I’m currently having a love affair with semicolons; they’re so satisfying.)

In my defense, though, the kitchen was hot, the frosting was falling, and the picture was taken while it was resolidifying in the fridge. We apologize if you’ve experienced any viewing displeasure.

Another one of my excellent qualities: modesty.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Don’t laugh.

I just realized I’ve been to Texas. I know many people would take that sort of information for granted – whether or not they’ve been to the one state you don’t want to mess with. I, on the other hand, forgot.

I was thinking about places I’d like to visit someday and I thought to myself, “hmm, Texas might be nice. I wonder what it’s like.” Then I pictured what it was like in my mind. It was surprisingly similar to my memory from my trip to Texas.

So. I need to stop for a moment and consider… where have I been?

Countries:
Italy, Australia, Germany, USA, Canada, Spain, France

States:
Texas.
Oregon, Washington, California, Nevada, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland, Arizona, and Arkansas.

Places I’d like to check out:
Louisiana, Tennessee, Colorado, and Texas. I wonder what Texas is like.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Weiner pictures

You know, they were called that before but now the name… sticks.
Hard-fast…
Sticks and balls…

Stop me.

Share
Posted in Politics | Leave a comment

Spell Checkers Suck.

“Lyophilized” wanted to be “pedophilia.” That’s not even close. Not even a little.

And it’s byproduct. Not bi-product. I know spell checker wanted to change your “biproduct” into something hyphenated, but unless you mean to say it’s a product that swings both ways, I think both you and your spell checker are mistaken.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

You’re talking a lot but you’re not saying anything.

“Climates have changed to a surprising degree.”
I know. Dude. 14°C blows my mind.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment